hate me? then PISS OFF.

Shuld I or Shuldnt I??

I've been thinkin,alot...n i come to a conclusion tt i shuldnt pursue for what i want anymore.I guess what i want will come to me if what i want really wanz to.I got no more say on diz cuz i got alot to think about n i've bcomin so strezz up.Problems after problems.The 1 thing tt strezz me out will get me to go M.I.A.Can't even contact me at all.Hopefully it wont happen but itz up to me to do somethin about it....I'm so strezz out ryt now...

Phaz Out!

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Diz Iz For u...u noe who u are...a song i wrote but i guezz itz nt gonna b finish...Hope u lyk it...

i have a fren who's been very close to my heart
she helps me thru all my problems in every part,
all my ups n downs she's been beside me,
but e truth is e opposite s it suppose 2 b
itz been a difficult life but u cant really see,
a sweetest lady i noe still hurts underneath,
she's been hearin abt me n shameen breakin up,
but her story is e 1 tt really breaks my heart,
im sorry i cant do nothin to help u now,
so i wrote diz song juz to make u smile,
i feel sad juz seein' someone i really care about cryin n feelin down,
don worry gerl u'll still livin ur life so move around,
i noe it hurts to lose some1 tt u didnt even see,
u will reunite wif him someday so dont b sad ziee,
danish will alwayz b ard u n im sure of tt,
hes smilin down on u now so wont u smile back

let me tell u tt words dont worth a thousand,
n memories will soon b forgotten,
mistakes wont alwayz b forgiven
but us aint gon b missin cuz we aint gt nothin now to reminisce in,
my life change e moment we started talkin,
i felt somethin in u n suddenly im fallen,
ure special to me now n tt wont ever change,
itz lyk im stuck deep down n locked in ur cage
i don noe how u feel towards me cuz u keep on hidin,
hopin someday u will present e words tt uve been keepin,
whether itz gd or bad i will nt noe,
bt at least u let it out b4 it starts to grow,
i really lyk u gerl n it will continue on n on,
been thinkin abt u from e early dusk til e break of dawn,
itz a rough tym for u now i know n i can see,
but if anythin happens juz noe tt baby u got me....

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Heyy...
I've decided tt i shuld juz step fully back on relationship.No more of those,no more datin' n no more havin' to find e love of my life.Don't wanna think of anythin but my own self.Thiz few mthz for me has been ok but stressful,dont know why.To e ppl tt has been bsyd me thru my ups n downs,i wanna say thank u for bein' dere for me when i need u.All of diz is juz stressin me out.I fuckin hate it.I'm juz gonna stay single n do what i wanna do.Altho i can change my mind in e future but ryt now diz iz my principle of life.If diz iz what it takes to get me better,then diz is e way i'm doin' it n i'm standin tall for it.

To her..
Altho i lyk u alot n by tt i mean alot but i'm juz gonna go to a different direction now.I'm still here for u if u need me cuz i noe u gt alot of problemz tt need to b solve n im gonna help u with all of it.A promise is a promise.Frenz is e best way for us i guez.Whenever u want me dere,i'll b dere cuz i made a promise to u n im nt gonna go back on my words.I really cherish what we did 2geder n what u said to me for e past few mths n im never gonna forget it cuz itz somethin special n worth keepin it.Ure a very special lady to me but i don wanna ruin ur life by me havin to make e same mistakes lyk what i did to Shameen.I dont noe if u think im better then what i am e last tym but to me,i've changed alot since.E old me has passed n i dont intend to be tt kinda person ever again.Back to u,I really hope tt all of ur problemz will b solve but u juz hav to hang on n dont make any mistakes from now on.be strong n u can overcome it all.Trust me ok...Take Good Care Of Urself...

To Shameen..
I wanna say sorry again for treatin' u lyk what i did e last tym.I wanna apologised fer everything,what i said n what i did.We r frenz now n i look at u s my lil sis,it'z gd tt u keep contactin' me n tellin me stories abt ur life now.Hope 1day some1 will sweep u off ur feet n b happy.I wanna see u smile from cheek to cheek.I'm here too if u need me.E songz i made abt u,dont take it too personally ok??cuz itz juz what i felt insyd n i juz let it out on a song.No harm intended.I dont wanna hide anythin insyd anymore cuz itz hurtin me,U tought me tt n i wanna thank u.I wish e best for u on what u do in everythin.U got a very bright future so dont ruin it..

phaz out

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Hey all,questionz fer u guyz n galz out there...The question is WHY??
Why do i feel lyk im missin' somethin'?
why do i still feel down sometymz?
Why do i feel diz way?
I donno why but i juz do.Am i juz feelin' lyk diz cuz im nt used to bein' alone??
Everytym i go out n see couplez doin' thingz 2gether,laughin,smilin,huggin,cuddlin,holdin hands & whatever thingz couple do,i started to feel lyk lost n down,nt depress but juz feelin down.I do hav fun bein single,partyin,drinkin,hangin out n all but i still feel what i feel.I hate it n hope it will go away but seemz lyk it will b stuck wif me.i guez i do miss havin a relationship,havin a special person bsyd,feelin special,havin fun 2geder n all.I'm nt sayin tt i want it now,i don really want to cuz im afraid tt i will hurt them or they'll hurt me again.Im juz nt ready fer 1,nt ready to really commit to it juz yt but e problem is when can i??What if im totally nt up fer it n wont hav a relationship in my life at all lyk my uncle or what if dere'z no 1 who cn really commit to me at all??Too many questionz n answers to b solve.So far my life had been good,nt great but juz good nn lyk i said,dere'z somethin missin' but i donno what it is.I donno whether i'll juz b lyk what i am now diz whole year.So many thingz runnin' thru my head now.Juz don really know what to do.haiz..I guezz i'll juz hav to let it b ryt??cant do nothin' abt it....Thatz it fer me la,Phaz Out..

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Hey all readers of my blog,wanna wish all of u a HAPPY NEW YEAR,Hope 2006 is a year with full of happiness,fun n Enjoyable Year for all!!Hopin i will too cuz my 2005 sux big tym.Well towards e end is e worst la.2006 hopefully will b a happy 1.My ORD date is gettin nearer by e day,Wuhoo!!...Let me tell u where i celebrated my NYE.I celebrated in KL.It was a fun nyt,went dere with 2 of my frenz,Hafidz n Mas,met 3 of thier frenz dere n 1 of em lives in Selangor i think.He drove down to party wif us.So we were at Jln P.Ramlee when e countdown starts n when its 12am sharp,deres firewerks outside KLCC,cldn't get to c it cuz diz stupid tall building was blockin' e view,damn it!!haaaa.So i msg Aisha wishin' her n all n we went to Zouk fer a nyt of fun.Mas brought along a bottle of Chivas so we drank while we were walkin' dere,wif nothin to mix wif,juz drank neat!dang!!!We reached Zouk alil tipsy n went insyd.Drank again in e club n i was feelin it,hahaha.Gotta tell u mann,if u lyk Aggressive House music,shuld go dere.It was awesome!!!The DJ n e Guest DJ really is good,so i juz dance to it n had a blast!!Then It was ard 2++am,don know which idiot put a Tear Gas in e club.All were coughin' n got teary eyes.So everbody evaquated frem e place.So we walked back n bought food cuz we were hungry lyk hell,then went back to e hotel n talked crap e whole nyt,fer me it was til 5am den went to sleep,woke up ard 9am.We chilled at e hotel fer abit n ard 12pm we got out n do alil shoppin.I didnt buy anythg cuz i bought what i needed e week b4 when i went wif my soccer buddies on Christmas Eve.I called my fren who lives in Shah Alam i think,tot of meetin her cuz she gave me her no. n ask to call her if i was dere but she was bz with her aunts engagement thingy so we didnt get to meet up.Next tym i guez.Anyway i got back to Singapore alone tt nyt at 11.30pm n reached here ard 5am.Fidz n gang had to stay dere til e next nyt cuz i guez dey didnt get enough of shoppin yt,hahah.Overall i had fun n so were e guyz.Diz Yr,e same thing i guez.hahaha.But altho i had fun in KL n all,i got back home early cuz 1,i had to werk Tuesday mornin tt is 2dae n 2,i kinda miss HER.Didnt get to spend diz special occassion wif her cuz dere's some last min changes n i'm sorie.I really want to but cldn't.Hopefully diz yr we will spend more tym wif each other.Tho we r nt 2geder fer now but we do have somthin' special.The reason we r nt is bcuz we aint ready to hav a commitment juz yt.We r still havin fun,gg to clubs wif or w/o me n her 2geder,meetin' up wif guyz n girlz tt r juz frenz.Juz takin it slowly,1 step at a tym.We had alot of fun 2geder n im happy to juz meet her.We havnt gone on an official date yt tho we hang out sometymz cuz a date is somethin' special to me.I'm nt really ready fer it yt.Itz cool tho,we understand each other n talked abt all these thingz wif no hold ups.When we r ready,i think i'm gonna make it a special n romantic day but ttz a secret fer me to keep n fer her to find out.hahaha..Anyway wishin her all e best diz yr n hope to hav a happy life til e end.TTz it fer me,kinda drowsy watchin my screen,hahah.Tk Cr All n til e next 1..Phaz Out!!!

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